I love to invite Muslims to our home. You might be thinking, ah Mark is that a good idea… I mean after all they will know where you live. Yep. Precisely my point.
It’s not like we do this every night and I certainly don’t invite just anyone off the street. Our Muslim friends usually come because of our relationships that has been formed over weeks, months or years of knowing them.
Usually I have been to their house first. We laugh together as friends, share our stories and talk about things that are important. Yes, we even talk about Jesus.
Yet I have noticed that when I invite Muslims to my home it is a little more complicated. It takes more planning.
Here are some guidelines that I follow:
1. Is the food halal. Halal for a Muslim is like kosher for someone who is Jewish. The two big things forbidden for Muslims are pork and alcohol. So I buy the meat at a halal butcher and I let my friends know it before they come.
2. How many are coming? Sometimes when I invite friends, more people show up than expected. It is that way in their homes and why not when they come to mine. It’s not rude, it’s just cultural. Besides, we are going to have way too much food anyway. So, more the merrier.
3. The dog in her crate. Yep, our cocker spaniel goes in her crate for the evening. Most Muslim friends don’t like indoor dogs because they are considered dirty. No problem, we put her away and there isn’t a problem. Sometimes at the end of the time together they want to see her so we bring her out on a leash.
4. A lot more food than anyone could possibly eat. I have yet to eat with Muslim friends without there being enough food to feed the neighborhood (at least it feels that way). In fact, sometimes my Arab Muslim friends arrive with enough food to feed us all for the evening.
This is not an exhaustive list, but for me it is kind of like a minimum checklist.
Why would I care about such detail? I want to be a good host. I want my Muslim friends to feel comfortable. Besides, if I invited someone who is Jewish, I am not going to serve ham. If a friend (non-Muslim) says they have problems with glutten or they are lactose intolerant, we will try to accommodate them too. So we do take dietary restrictions into account. It’s part of being a good host.
Here’s some thoughts on when Muslims actually arrive to eat.
1. Drinks, but no alcohol. You can serve soda, water and a long list of other drinks. Just not alcoholic. In fact if you drink alcohol, consider not drinking that evening. There are always exceptions. I know Muslims who DO drink alcohol. Personally I don’t drink, so we never have it regardless of whose coming to dinner.
2. Encourage them to eat more. Be the good host who is observing what they eat and when their plate looks like it is going to be emptied, then insist they have more. They will refuse but keep persisting and finally they will give up and take more. Don’t be rude, but it is a culturally appropriate to refuse even though they want more.
3. Don’t let them clean their plates. Sorry Mom, I know you said I was to clean my plate, but they are not going to clean their plates when they are done. They will leave some on their plate when they are full. It is not because they are rude, it simply means they are finished.
4. Allow them to eat with their fingers. Some of our Muslim friends prefer to eat with their hands. No problem. Have utensils prepared and most will eat with them. If they don’t, no big deal.
5. Coffee and tea come last. Usually this is the sign of the end of the visit. Bring out the tea and coffee. You really don’t need to ask if they want it. Assume they will. Let them choose.
6. Enjoy. Learn to ask questions that are natural that helps to explain who they are as people.
Is there anything I missed? I would love your feedback on your experiences either having Muslims to your home or visiting a Muslim.
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Categories: Cross-Cultural
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